i wonder if everyone actually hates me.

perhaps they wouldn't say it outright, but sometimes i think that the people around me secretly despise my company. i overthink most conversations i have. i feel contrived. i feel fake. who the fuck am i?

i need to branch out. i'm stuck. i'm not in a bubble, more of a trash compactor. i'm happiest when i can TALK to people and MEET people and be out there and right now i'm not. i don't know anyone. i'm not a local, i go to school with people five years older than me, and i don't see anyone else outside of it. i work with children. i don't see other people my age. i'm breaking.

there's more to say, but now is not the time. go home.