Welcome to Dewside

Log of Oddie's Thoughts

12:07 pm; october 20, 2022 (thursday)

hello again! i had another convention this weekend. it was crazy fun and i'll probably upload pictures later.

in lamer news, i cut my thumb open on a kitchen knife and had to get 8 stitches + a tetanus shot

2:27 pm; september 19, 2022 (monday)

sorry to dip after that. i am still alive! they put me on a depression/anxiety med. let's hope it helps

11:25 pm; september 15, 2022 (thursday)

[post removed]

2:31 pm; september 15, 2022 (thursday)

i ate. i feel sick. it's not so much physical as it is mental. i wish i would throw it up

12:10 pm; september 15, 2022 (thursday)

hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

i have a housing office shift tonight. i don't want to eat. i'm mad that i keep feeling hungry. something's wrong with me. i keep fucking up.

3:11 pm; september 14, 2022 (wednesday)

well, i did it, i made an appointment at my university's health center to get an assessment.

12:06 pm; september 13, 2022 (tuesday)

i'm not doing well again.
i had a really good weekend! so i feel bad about feeling bad now. i don't want to. nothing awful is really happening to me. life this week is the same as last, but everything feels so desolate and heavy for some reason. it's raining outside and i can't even enjoy it like i normally do. i'm scared tbh. i don't like feeling like this. i'm nervous and tired and i don't want to talk to people. and there's no good reason why.

12:07 pm; september 8, 2022 (thursday)

this week i tried something new and wrote out my schedule every day event-by-event, almost hour by hour. it has worked really well! i'm managing my time better than ever before and getting things done on time or ahead of time.

my family just got kittens! i'm going to visit them after my con this month to meet the babies.

big weekend ahead! bon is coming up to visit again and we're going to a friend's wedding reception and doing a bunch of activities around my school. we're also going to pride at the park! i'm very very excited :)

9:27 am; september 6, 2022 (tuesday)

i have my first shift back at my old catering job today. i'm kinda nervous since i don't get any return training, so hopefully they go easy on me! i know i at least have one friend on my shift (which will be nice since it's 7 hours long! at a single event... spoiled athletes being served dinner every day...). I'm sure it will be just fine, it's been 5 months or so, but this is a really routine shift that i should just fall back into. i'm gonna go retrieve my uniform from my old locker after class.

4:34 pm; september 5, 2022 (monday)

"college will be so hard" college is making me download second life to play in class

11:34 am; august 27, 2022 (saturday)

she's coming today! i'm so excited! she'll be here! in my house! i'm so excited! i love her so much! i can't wait to see her! she's bringing me seaweed i love her i love her i love her i love her!!

2:20 pm; august 26, 2022 (friday)

sitting and doing check-ins again! really not anything going on. eating seaweed again. i love seaweed. i'm really hoping that bon comes up to visit me tomorrow, i miss her a lot!! i just want to like snuggle in and sleep next to her. i got my period this morning, which i really should have seen coming. it's starting to become more regular! +1 for health i guess. i'm even starting to notice a pattern to my symptoms

my school's reslife department puts on a drag show every year. since i'm in reslife now, i can audition for it, and i'm really gonna try! my cosplays were already crossdressing anyways lol. i tried some proper drag king makeup this week, and it was super fun!! i decided i want my persona to be a cowboy. i've always liked the the name oliver, so i'll probably use that in my name, but it's REALLY hard to not make an innuendo out of my stage name (oliver herrstrap is stuck in my head). i'm excited about this, the makeup gives me a confidence boost for no reason and i think i can really have fun trying this out. just another step on my mission to become the ultimate jack of all trades! also, i really like the word "king", so idk being called a king just also sounds fun and i am all around just very excited to be one

8:37 pm; august 23, 2022 (tuesday)

hello! not much going on tonight. really just watching youtube and waiting out the clock until i have to go on rounds/pick up the on-call phone. snacking on some seaweed. i feel like i've eaten a lot today but in reality i've only had 2 smallish meals (and they were both pizza... not my choice T-T). trying not to get mad at myself for eating, y'know? but it's kinda hard haha. anyways, i should really keep unpacking my room. my roommate left grease in a pan on the stove all day and our kitchen smells gross. i can't wait to sleep

6:24 am; august 22, 2022 (monday)

ah. the sun's coming up.

5:12 am; august 22, 2022 (monday)

having a breakdown at 4 am: lame, cringe, embarrassing
stopping and working on this site instead: based, super cool, i can't think about those things if i am busy trying to remember how the hell javascript works

1:21 pm; august 20, 2022 (saturday)

summer flew by like nobody's buisness! i'm back up at school now for my senior year, and i'm actually working as a resident assistant! i'm technically doing check-ins right now, but no one's here to be checked in, so i'm taking this opportunity to do something i should really do more-- give this site attention!

my job this summer absolutely rocked. there was something so fulfilling and life-giving about putting what i'm passionate about (ancient life) to use. it made me feel like there was a real reason that i'm here, you know? even if that reason is just to share my love of the natural world with people. there was something so unique and enjoyable about having deeper conversations with guests. i think everyone deserves to find what makes them feel that way.

11:28 pm; june 12, 2022 (sunday)

i went to a convention this weekend! i was a panelist and cosplayed all weekend. i did yushiro from demon slayer (with bon as lady tamayo) and obanai (with bon as my lovely mitsuri)-- we have a joke about constantly cosplaying as straight people. i got to see a lot of rare friends and it was a blast! i can't wait for the bigger cons in the fall!!

i want to change this page to be called "/oddiespeaks.html" but that would require me to change the link name on every single page indivdually. which has got to be at least, like, 30 seperate pages.

5:30 pm; june 5, 2022 (sunday)

way to drop off the face of the earth for 3 months! sorry to leave you all on such an unsure note after my last few blog entries. i've wiped the page again, and you can find old entries by scrolling down to the "view older posts" button.

to address my last post, i am improving. i am doing better. after writing all of that i hit some new lows due to circumstances outside my control and family issues, but i am generallly doing better. what i am going through right now is a struggle of a different sort, and i do not see it fit to share here.
i finally got a haircut last week, and it feels so, so good!! it's layered so that it curls properly, i have a bang layer, and overall it just suits me so much better than i think my hair ever has before. i even like my face a little bit more when it's framed like this. it's still hard to like sometimes, but it helps.
i started to get more creative with how i dress, and i let myself have fun with it now. i found out that i really like accessories! necklaces, ear cuffs, waist dangles, and pants chains all add so much to my outfits! i certainly feel so much better about that all than i did back in march. i need to figure out a good way to post my outfits on here!

i'm working at a big museum organization that has several different venues/types of museums. i absolutely love it. i get to handle and talk about butterflies, study and teach about fossils and skulls, and perform magic tricks with kids. i feel like i walk out of every shift having learned something new, too! i am so, so glad that i somewhat arbitrarily chose this career path. it's such a fulfilling line of work for me.

i get to see bon more now, since we live a little closer at the moment. bon, do you still read this blog? i love you. i'm happy i get to see you more often. i really love spending time with you, and i wish i could see you every day.

i went to my first ever pride march this week. i actually had a lot of fun, even if i was kinda anxious and stressed for reasons i won't get into here. i want to go back again next year and fully enjoy it. here is a picture my friend took, i'm the short one with the bisexual flag.

as for this site, i think it needs some overhauling. i'll start with the home page and figure it out from there. here's to what the future brings!

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